Why Meditation Isn’t Enough When You Feel Disconnected (and What to Do Instead)
If you’ve ever felt stuck between two decisions, overwhelmed by emotions, or like no matter what you do you can’t win — this is for you.
As a former full-time meditation teacher, I used to believe meditation was the answer to everything. But what I’ve learned, both personally and through my work as a somatic coach, is that there are times when stillness doesn’t bring us closer to ourselves. It can actually take us further away.
What It Feels Like When Your Nervous System Is in Freeze
When we feel trapped, confused, or unable to act, our nervous system is often in a freeze state.
Freeze can feel like indecision, disconnection, or the sense that something is deeply off, but you can’t quite name it. It’s not laziness or lack of clarity; it’s your body doing its best to protect you.
And here’s the key: freeze states do not thaw through more stillness. You can’t meditate your way out of freeze.
Why My Meditation Practice Didn’t Resolve My Disconnection
During my years as a meditation teacher (including a 3-month, 1,000-hour intensive teacher training in India) I meditated through everything: stress, heartbreak, uncertainty, overwhelm.
But when I found myself stuck in a situation that felt impossible to resolve, my body was sending me a clear message I couldn’t follow. I was caught in a double-bind, torn between what I felt and what I believed I “should” do.
So I meditated more. And in doing so, I unknowingly deepened my disconnection from myself. Meditation helped me observe my thoughts, but not the survival patterns in my body that were driving them.
How I Learned What My Body Actually Needed
Through somatic coaching, I came to understand that a nervous system in freeze doesn’t need stillness: it needs gentle movement, attunement, and stability.
This doesn’t mean meditation isn’t valuable. It’s a powerful tool for many. But it isn’t for all people, at all times, in all nervous system states.
Sometimes, what we truly need isn’t silence, it’s attuned presence. A supportive space to feel what we’ve been avoiding, and to learn that our emotions are not enemies but messengers.
How to Recognise When Stillness Isn’t the Answer
If you’ve been trying to meditate, journal, or “stay calm” your way through something and still feel stuck, it might be that your body asking for something different.
Notice if you:
Feel disconnected from yourself, even when you’re doing all the “right” things.
Experience decision paralysis, swinging between options but unable to act.
Struggle to say no or to trust your instincts.
Feel overwhelmed by emotions that meditation doesn’t seem to shift.
These are invitations from your body to listen differently, not to keep perservering.
A Body-Led Approach to Self-Trust and Decision-Making
Somatic coaching helps you rebuild your connection with your body’s natural wisdom. It’s not about prescriptive techniques or quick fixes. It’s about learning to:
Listen for the subtle cues your body gives you.
Feel emotions fully, without making them wrong or avoiding them.
Recognise when your body says no, even if your mind says yes.
Move from freeze into gentle, embodied action.
This is how self-trust grows — not by overriding what you feel, but by finally listening.
What You Can Do Right Now
If you notice yourself caught in confusion or overwhelm, try pausing not to “be still,” but to gently tune in:
What sensations am I aware of in my body right now?
If this feeling had a message, what might it be asking for?
You don’t need to have the answers. Simply acknowledging that your body has something to say begins to shift the pattern.
Final Thoughts: Your Body Never Gives Up On You
No matter how disconnected or overwhelmed you feel, your body is always communicating. It never stopped.
When we begin to listen, not with our minds, but through the language of the body, clarity emerges naturally. We start to feel safe in our own body again.
That’s the work of somatic coaching. Learning to trust what you feel, honour what you need, and remember that your body has always known the way.
Love,
Caroline
Image credit: Pinterest